Tag Archives: training

Party!

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Start line party

The aches and pains left my body after four days, the “I did my first marathon” high still comes and goes, and I have not taken down the Marine Corps Marathon course map at my office desk. My racing journey this year was not especially pretty, as much as it was insightful. But at the start line on race day, I was at a ruckus party with 30,000 other people. 26.2 miles? Puh-leez. We all knew how many miles it REALLY took to get to the start line.

I didn’t know if I would get here, but I’m on the other side now, I did it. I persevered through hours of physical stress to achieve this huge endurance goal, and I AM mentally strong enough to lace up my shoes and do it over and over again. Alone. That start line party was my graduation.

Do over please

Did I say it wasn’t pretty? There was pain and cramping during the second part of the race and lots of excuses after. I didn’t focus on strength training, broke my foot 6 months before the race, my training time was short, blah blah blah. But wouldn’t you know it I want to run another marathon—in addition to other 2014 racing goals. But I’m hoping this next journey will be different than the one I started out with this year.

Reminders

Reminders

 In the moment

My 2013 racing journey can be summed up in the two weeks before and after the marathon. My emotional state was that of a caffeine addict deprived of her morning coffee. Every day, for two weeks. At a yoga class during savasana a few days before the race, with tears streaming down my face I apologized to my many hurting body parts. Touching my thighs, hips, and legs, and feet, I asked them to hang tough with me for a few more days. Assuming the same pose on my yoga mat a week after the marathon, I tearfully thanked them for being strong and carrying me—literally—on this journey. Then as the endorphins and chemicals balanced out in my body over the next few weeks, Sarah Lynn aka my favorite yoga instructor, repeated a mantra of hers during class—to be accepting of where we are, what we’re doing, how we’re doing it, in the moment we’re in. I finally heard her.

When my body protested with exhaustion during the months of training, and I’d take a 7:30 nap before falling asleep at 9:00, I often asked myself (and the husband) why I often feel compelled to choose the hard road. No answer ever satisfied me. At the end of a rather tumultuous racing year which included letting my body heal, I had these fleeting moments of realizing that it’s okay not to know why, or what my journey is for. Only that I choose to go on it. I have to grab those fleeting moments. Tricky stuff.

 Ohm

So yes, I will be setting goals, and working hard to achieve them. My 2014 journey is to be in the many moments I will find myself in, and be accepting of all the outcomes.  At least that’s the plan.

  • Half Ironman.
  • Marathon #2.
  • Be kind to myself (see first two goals above)
  • Show meaning of true friendship to teen daughter.
  • Lift the clouds away from anxious daughter.
  • Run away with husband more often.

And may the racing goddesses be gentler to me next year.

Broken.

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On April 28 2013 I broke my foot during the Nike All Women’s half marathon in Washington DC. It’s been almost two weeks. The foot is healing, it’s in a boot, I’m on crutches, and I feel like my best friends are going on a vacation without me.  

It was going to be a great race, I could feel it. The energy at the start line was high and strong.

Buzzing start line

At the half mile mark I ran through a tunnel crowded with thousands of other runners. One of them stepped on my left foot. I fell, got up, and fell again.

Roar.
I finished the race, and I ran 12 miles on a broken foot. But now I can’t run for at least another 10 weeks.

urgent care leg

I may swim in 4 weeks, and maybe get on a bike trainer. I do the math every day–when I can run again, when I can train for my races this year. But I’m not racing in a fun Mother’s Day triathlon with my best lady friends this Sunday. Deep breath.

My 2013 race schedule  included my first marathon. I had a plan damn it. Later this year, I was going to meet Other Me. Super woman me, in super woman shape, who attacked all these races. Roar!

Head strong.
My Ironman brother tells me injuries like this are part of racing and training. And that it had to happen to me sooner or later. And he’s right. He’s nursed many injuries himself, and he’s come back strong each time. Think Ironman. He also is so Zen when faced with crap like injuries. I always aspire to be like him, and not just when I race. He once told me that when I decide to race the longer distances, I better have answers to all the questions my head will be asking me when I’m struggling in the last 10 miles. I better get started.

The new training plan.
My plan was to get my body in super strong shape this year. Muscles, roaring, leaping over tall buildings, that kind of thing. It’s too early to tell if in August, I will be able to swim in beautiful Lake Arrowhead and run up those crazy steps to T1 at Luray. Or if in September, I will rack my bike in the biggest triathlon transition area in the country. And it’s hard to admit that I simply may not be able to run my first marathon this October.  Deep breath.

So the running and racing goddesses are taking me on a detour. Their plan for me in 2013 is to put my head in training, not my body. My head needs to be in super strong shape this year. It has to be strong enough to believe that whatever happens in the healing process this year, I can and will come back stronger. That’s the Other Me I hope to meet later this year.

And when I do race again, I will remember to pack my health insurance card in my race bag.

Yoga on my mind

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Last week, I almost wept in my yoga class. Nothing hurt. No twisting, bindings or inversions (I’m terrified of inversions). No pulled muscles or ligaments. No injuries.

.

.

.

I’m hesitating as I write this, because I’m still grappling with why I fought back tears during the closing sun salutations.

I am relatively new to yoga. An injury last year was the final push I needed after years of saying, “when will I find the time?” Yoga is now a critical part of my running/triathlon training regime. It is a conduit to achieve more flexibility, balance and strength. Until about 3 months ago, yoga was simply a way to take care of my body, to ensure racing longevity. And in the 9 months I’ve been practicing yoga weekly, my body is thanking me. And now, it seems my mind wants some of the action too.

A few weeks ago, I found myself reverting to Shavasana at night when I can’t sleep. I also started to set my intentions before each run or swim just as I do before a yoga class. Then last week I found myself weeping in my husband’s arms when I got home from my yoga class.

Sarah Lynn, my yoga instructor and owner of Journey Yoga, is a very lively and active instructor – often playing music I would love for my running playlist. She’s passionate and energetic. If you’re looking for a quiet and gentle yoga class, Sarah Lynn is not the instructor for you. Last week, however, it was a quiet class. There was no music. No loud chatter, just thoughtful instruction. We were asked to simply engage or activate various muscles during the practice that would in turn elicit a reaction from other muscles in the body. Shoulders, back, legs, hands, arms, you name it.

During class, Sarah Lynn helped us with visualizations and regular reminders to breathe. And reminders that it’s okay to underachieve. That it’s okay not to work our muscles as hard as we possibly can. About half way through the class, my movements became more fluid, my poses were more balanced and strong, and my stretches were deeper than usual. Sweat was streaming out of every pore in my body. As we went through the last few sets of sun salutations, a tsunami of emotions moved up my feet and through my whole body. I wanted to sob. I almost did.

Why? I don’t really know. It took me by surprise. This practice was easy, yet so hard. The hard parts (consciously using all my muscles) made the balancing and poses seem easy, fluid and strong. On the drive home, so many images and emotions flashed through my mind — like fast-forwarding a movie. What continues to stand out in my mind is the journey to achieve my goal with running, racing, triathlon-ing… and all the training that exhausts me, frustrates me yet thrills me. But I don’t know what my actual goal is, or where my journey is taking me. Is it really okay to underachieve? Or not work as hard as I possibly can?

Oh this is cheesy as heck, I know. But I can’t shake how I felt that night. And I still don’t really know what it meant. Or why I think it’s supposed to mean something. Or anything for that matter.

But whatever it was, I think I may have started another journey.

Thank you Sarah Lynn.

Peace?

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Recently I attended a Total Immersion Swimming and Chi Running clinics. I did both with the intention of indulging my laziness – wanting to improve speed and endurance without exerting any more energy than I already am.

Both instructors convinced me that some amount of balance, posture, and relaxation will help improve my swimming or running. Be one with the water and you will swim like a dolphin. Good posture coupled with relaxed arms and legs will help me run forever and ever. I started to imagine I was listening to a yogi sitting on top of a mountain giving advice to triathletes. Seriously.

After an enlightened morning, I realized that both TI Swimming and Chi Running embrace the concept of being at peace with the universe or at least allowing yourself to be one with your environment. When you swim, don’t fight the water, flow with it. When you run, fall into it. Relax. No tight asses in Chi Running. Cue sound of heart beat. Then overlay with deep breathing, and light sound of water or footsteps in the background.  Ohhmmmm. Seriously.

Over the last year, I’ve learned that to be a successful (or at least happy) athlete, your entire body has to be in sync. Putting in hundreds of miles prepping for races and triathlons didn’t hurt my back. A weak core and tight hip flexors did. After years of listening to Beth preach the benefits of yoga, I started yoga. And yoga started me on a different journey. The swim/run clinics also pushed me farther down this road. I’ve learned that it’s not just about “getting a good workout” it’s also about strength and flexibility. And lots of balance — for my body and what’s in my head. And guess what — being at peace with the universe. In this case, being at peace with myself, what I’m doing at that moment (running at 5 friggin’ AM), and being able to embrace the fact that I CAN run and swim and ride. With relatively no pain. Cue happy zen-like music.

Now I have to cross-train to be fit for life. Flow with life and use inner muscles to either move quickly or deal with crap when it gets thrown at me. Be at peace with what comes. Because it just will. Definitely embrace my universe of children and husband. Quiet the mind. Don’t fight it. Fall into it gently. And I can run forever and ever.

Marathons are for Mothers

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Being a parent is like training for a marathon. Or at least I think it is since I’ve never run one (more on that some other time). You must build stamina and endurance, think positive to push for that extra mile, and don’t let the bad training days get you down. Because crossing the finish line is priceless. But where is the finish line for parents?

Lately, my mother marathon training isn’t going well. My mental endurance is tapped, my energy level is low, and I’ve hit a wall. My consistent effort to do the right thing is met with consistent resistance, and I am tired of being labeled the bad guy for trying to teach my kids to be good. 

Go away, GUILT
I also have a cloud hovering over this mental exhaustion called GUILT. She follows me like a shadow, appears in the shower with me when I take that extra-hot-water-minute, or sleep in on the weekends past 7. GUILT doesn’t allow me to peacefully do what my conscience tells me to, and she doesn’t allow me to dole out tough love without quickly stabbing my heart. Ah GUILT. My constant companion since my first child was born.

I do turn into a psycho bitch occasionally when I reach the point of no return. Playing the lawyer and defending my actions with my kids can get tiring. After a tennis match of arguments, it eventually will dawn on me that I don’t have to defend myself to them – and bloody hell, I’m doing this because I love them. So I lose it, and sometimes, I lose it big. Then GUILT slaps me hard. Sometimes, I want to stop this mother marathon training. Sigh.

Love, love, love
But here’s the thing — I love my two girls so much, and cannot imagine my life without them. Every day I do my damned best to make sure they are well fed, clean, safe, healthy and happy.  Every day I try to teach them to be kind and respectful. Every day I try to read their minds and actions to make sure they are happy inside, no matter what the outside says. Every day I try to listen to their words and be sure I understand what they really mean. And every day I try to make sure they know that I love them, especially if we say many angry words to each other. It’s just that on many days, I simply don’t have the energy, patience or wherewithal to DO all these right things (SHUT UP GUILT).

What would it be like to have just one day without the cares of being a mother? And be free of the worry, the responsibilities, and of GUILT. It could be like my rest day when I don’t train.

Till I die? Really?
So how do I train for this mother marathon? I know many other mothers (and fathers) go through this daily. But knowing this doesn’t make it any easier. Or strengthen my mental endurance. Recently after yet another battle, my teary apologetic younger daughter asked me why I decided to have children. I said I wanted to love a child or two, and because the world needs more good people. Is that my finish line? When I can witness what kind of people my children turn out to be? 30-40 years from now? Or right up till I die? That’s a long time to be training.

I clearly need to increase my stamina and endurance. I need to introduce a new element to my training regime to shake things up.

HUMOR! WHERE ARE YOU?