Saleha, my oldest daughter texted me, “I’m in fucking Rockville, I’m angry and nauseous.”

“Want to talk?”

She kept going.

“This lady said she was a better immigrant because she’s white and from a European country. And that I’ve been brainwashed by the media to think that what’s happening at the border is bad. And she told us that we had no idea because we’re not immigrants. I told her I was a child of an immigrant, but she told us how bad SHE had it and that whatever is happening now isn’t as bad.”

“At what point did you walk away?”

“She wouldn’t stop talking. I interrupted her at some point and said have a nice day. Next time I’m going to tell people that I hope they are capable of developing some compassion.”

Saleha is canvassing for the ACLU this summer, raising money for immigration and abortion rights. She wanted to help the best way possible in a short period of time, and she’s one of the top fundraisers on her team. She’s never done this before. She’s studying to be a biomedical engineer, and her team is filled with passionate and determined young adults who aspire to be lawyers, journalists, activists. Saleha looks white. Her black teammates don’t raise as much money. Her canvassing partner is black AND bi-sexual. That’s two strikes against him.

When she decided to do this, I knew she was going to get a very quick lesson on humanity – the good, bad and ugly. There have been a lot of good days. Like when that little kid gave her a penny for the cause, when a guy gave her his last $20, and when people filled up her water bottle on those hot humid days.

Then there are days that leave her angry and nauseous. It breaks my heart, she’s my daughter.

Hate swirls around us each day. Hate makes us angry and invites an infinite amount of negative energy into our lives. And it’s easy to give in to hate.

It’s so easy to hate the people who support the cruel treatment of children at the border. Have you ever felt helpless when your little baby has a fever? Do you hold and comfort your toddler when she wakes up with night terrors? Have you ever felt like you can’t breathe when your teenager goes missing for a few hours?

It’s so easy to hate the people who dismiss the black men and boys who are killed by cops. Have you ever listened to a black mother lecture her teenager before he leaves the house in the morning, so he won’t get killed by a cop? And feel her fear that he won’t come home from school?

It’s so easy to hate the people who think my gay, lesbian and transgender friends are immoral. Do you have friends in this community? Are they kind and respectful human beings? Have you ever been awed by their strength and grace for being proud of who they are despite the amount of hate they receive?

It’s so easy to hate the people who don’t believe women who’ve been raped. Are you a woman? Have you ever been sexually assaulted? Do you remember every single detail like it was yesterday, even if it happened 30 years ago? Wait, what? You’ve never been sexually assaulted? Hang on, you’re a man? Then fuck you.

It’s so easy to hate the racists. Have you ever avoided reading stories of white people proudly declaring their superiority as they are celebrated by leaders and politicians? Have you ever just closed your eyes and tried to wish these stories are fake?

See? It’s so easy to give in to hate. If I do, I can be just like them. Hateful. Angry.

The next day, I picked up Saleha from work. And we had our usual 10:30pm chat. The only time during the week I get to see and talk with her this summer.

“I met a really nice guy who believed the ACLU will change the world, and also a really nice and cute old lady who could only see with one eye. And at this one house, after I got a donation from this woman, her daughter gave me a big hug.  It made me want to cry. Today was infinitely better than yesterday.”

“Maybe that’s what we need to do. To be the one who makes others see that this world has good people. To help others see that there is love around us, not just hate. To be the one that makes others feel disproportionately happy with acts of kindness. To be the one that you tell your mom about at the end of the day.”

Saleha’s experience taught me that I can’t avoid the hate and there are many people who need help. She dived in with the best way she knew how to help. She’s unapologetic about her beliefs and is very outspoken about them. I hope that one day I can be as brave as her. But until then, I can be the one.

“I’m glad this is your last week of work.”

“Me too.”